"There are no rules, no regulations, no frontiers that a woman cannot reach or surmount." -Oscar De La Renta 

It's hard to believe that this is my sixth year of celebrating International Women's Day on this blog. In a way, the first year I wrote about it was also the first year I really considered myself a feminist. Sure, I'd always believed in equal rights, but I shied away from the feminist label. (even though that's literally the definition of feminism) 

THE YEAR OF THE MODERN WOMAN | A 2019 MOOD BOARD

{all photos via pinterest, except for this one}

THE BIRTH CONTROL DEBATE

I've been on birth control on & off since high school. I wasn't diagnosed with PMDD until a few years ago, but even before then every month was a war zone. Mood swings, debilitating pain, the works. Birth control has been and continues to be a lifesaver for me. It lets me live my life (for the most part) without dreading the pain. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED FROM GOING MAKEUP FREE

A few months ago, I made a commitment to give my face a break & go makeup free at least once a week. Of course, this is not including the brows, because the brows must always be done.

I digress. 

WHAT WE TACKLE, WE CONQUER | A NOTE ON WOMEN'S DAY

We’re going on year four of celebrating Women’s Day on WDAC. It’s something so important to me that I feel it needs its own dedication each year. (although the official day is tomorrow, it's never too early) Since starting my feminist journey, (is that a thing? let’s go with it) with each year I've become increasingly thankful and overwhelmed in the best way by the strength that we have as women, and the way we stick together. 

Dear Mayim Bialik.

Hey Mayim,

I think you're a pretty cool person. I admire your feminism, your love of education, and your views on religion & science.

However, on the subject of sexual assault, I feel you've missed the mark. I think I get the point you were trying to make, and while I agree with some of your statements, like the fact that "we live in a society that has treated women as disposable playmates for far longer than Mr. Weinstein has been meeting ingénues in luxury hotel rooms," the overall theme that appearance has something to do with assault leaves a sour taste in an otherwise well- written piece. 

Maybe that wasn't the theme you were intending, but it's what jumped out.

In my twenty three years, I have known too many women who have been victim to sexual assault. They come from various backgrounds, are of various ages & races, and in no case should their conventional beauty ‘number’ be a factor. See, when you ostracize ‘pretty girls’, it leaves a damaging notion that only those girls can be assaulted, and that girls must ‘tone it down’ in order to not be plucked out.

While it is true that thin, white, conventionally ‘pretty’ girls get picked first for the good acting roles- & that’s incredibly problematic- it’s also problematic to suggest that because you weren’t seen as a ‘10’, you lucked out in not becoming a victim.

It could’ve been you. 

It could be anyone reading your piece, watching your show. I’ve been catcalled while wearing what most would consider ‘modest.’ It doesn’t matter what you wear, if you go to the gym everyday or get manicures or rock Adele-worthy eyeliner.

Anyone can fall prey to gross, power hungry men (& women) and what we should be focusing on is how to stop it, and somehow I don't think that solution includes changing who you are.

xo,

kae

WHAT I'VE LEARNED FROM WATCHING THE BOLD TYPE

It was a Friday night, and I was drowning my Friday night sorrows in a tub of icing. (Don't wrinkle your face in disgust, it's a delicious, incredibly unhealthy thing of magic) I was still in a post pretty little liars haze (although thanks to netflix it will never truly be over) & in desperate need of strong female friendships in media, and so it was then that I decided to delve into The Bold Type, a show everyone's been talking about.

It's loosely based on the life of Cosmopolitan's editor in chief, and follows three best friends who work for a women's magazine. It's only seven episodes into the season, but in those seven episodes I have laughed out loud, cried into the tub of icing, and become inspired and empowered to be more bold in the way I carry myself and my life.

Maybe that sounds dramatic, like this show is the be all end all of feminism. It isn't obviously, as media is created by humans, therefore it's going to be flawed. But we should definitely celebrate when it's diverse and beautiful, because it's a form of art. Art imitates life. 

This is an age of fighting for diversity, women's rights, and normalizing the fact that we can be interested in fashion and relationships and beauty while also being interested in politics and art and world issues- and doing it in heels. We need media that celebrates and supports that, because this is our life.

I for one want to leave a mark in this life, as I have a feeling you do as well. You can't do that if you play it safe, something I have to remind my anxiety-ridden brain of constantly. We as humans are deeply afraid of failure, of not being good enough and that's a trope we have to get rid of. 

Romanticize failure. It's going to happen, but what matters is what we do with it, how we grow. That, to me, is how we're bold.

xo,

kae

GIRL POWER

I like to believe the whole 'putting your love & support for women on clothing items' trend started with monica geller's 'girls girls girls' sweater way back in '94. Yes, mon!
I hope the trend of girl power is a lasting one, as with the trend of a good 'ole graphic tee. I looove these for summer, paired with a fun neck scarf  & a pair of shorts.
I've rounded up some more girl power picks for you! :

xo,

We Got You

{sometimes you have to just use a cool photo that doesn't necessarily go with the post. Blogging 101, duh}

I was all set to do my usual PLL post but when I sat down to write it... there was nothing. Not a lot has been happening the last few episodes and I just feel like it's not fun to write or read about right now. I'll probably cover next week since it is the spring finale (already??) but lemme know your feedback- do you even like the recaps? Should I continue it next season or let it fade?

ANYWAY, 

Yesterday was International Women's Day & it left me feeling extra inspired and with lots of love for the women in my life and around me. In recent years I've learned more than ever that you feel so much lighter & freer once you realize that we are not in competition with each other. Instead, we're right next to each other, every single one of us, around the world & that's kind of the coolest thing.

When I first became part of the blogging community it seemed scary. It was like the first day of high school, the tiny overwhelmed freshman among the sea of super cool seniors. But it quickly became clear that though there were the "big" and "small" blogs, we're all kind of on the same level. We're just out there doing our thing and we're supporting each other while doing it. 

It's kind of like that offline too, huh? Or at least it should be. So. Keep fighting & making noise & never apologizing. Know your worth. Be kind & brave. We got you.

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xo,

Herself.

The grammys are probably old news already, since they were ya know, two days ago, but there's one topic still on my mind. Maybe it's my feminist self, maybe it's my Taylor Swift bias, maybe it's this post by another Taylor that had me yelling "preach" the whole time. (except I read it in the middle of the break room at work, so it was more of a silent yell)

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In any case, if you've heard anything about Kanye West in the last couple of weeks, you know about his highly misogynistic new song Famous, which Taylor is a subject of. When the song leaked, most everyone was defending her (which I adored) and when she won album of the year she took her speech as an opportunity to stand up for herself in the classiest way possible.

So why is it that the majority of articles I've seen called her speech a "diss?" 

Why is it that people were getting genuinely mad at her on twitter for being excited for her friend Ed Sheeran when he won?

Why are people so fickle, turning on something or someone at a moment's notice, for no real reason? Do you really dislike successful, genuine women that much? Really.

And to any man who thinks they can undermine a woman's accomplishments and claim them as your own, you can't.  Arrogance won't get you very far, my dear.

Like the saying goes, "Behind every successful woman is herself." And the best shade of lipstick, duh. (So I added that part, sue me) Anyway, this probably isn't my most well thought out or put together post, but this is the stuff that keeps me up at night. It also keeps Stevie from her dog dreams because she has to hear about it.

How do you feel about it all?

/'FEM.I.NI.ZEM/

Hi, hello.

Question. Would you think less of me if I told you that my first h&m experience was only the other day? It's okay, believe me, I was judging myself too.

Anyway, it was successful, one of the finds being this gem of a sweatshirt. I love a good graphic top, 

and ones with important social messages? Yes please.

I decided to pair it with some skinny jeans and leather jacket, for a little extra flair. I'm also currently dying over the flats; they're a perfect tie-in.

Aaand boom.

sweatshirt | h&m (dress version)

jeans | Mossimo

jacket | f21

neckalce | LC Lauren Conrad

sunglasses + shoes (similar) | Target

#LovelyLadies: Rowan Blanchard

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Confession: I love Girl Meets World.

Actually, I'm not sure it even counts as a confession since I will profess my love for it to anyone who listens. (I'll do a whole post on it sometime don't worry) But one thing I might love more than the show itself is Rowan Blanchard.

She may be known as Cory & Topanga's daughter, but she is a force all her own who has recently been making headlines for her killer style and more importantly, her educated views on intersectional feminism. All too often the media and people in our own lives portray a picture of feminism that isn't quite feminism at all. It's not what we're supposed to stand for. And Rowan isn't having any of it, as none of us should.

At just thirteen, she is more educated and eloquent than half of the people my age and for that she has all my respect. She's the type of girl you want on your team because much like her character Riley, she sees the good in everything and she's oh so genuine.

I've got a few years on Rowan, but she's the one teaching me every day how to be a little bit better than the day before.

We all need a bit of that in the world.

Why Girls Wear Makeup

In recent years it seems there's been a debate going on that is tiring and insulting.

Why do girls wear makeup? Do they look better with or without it? Are girls lying to guys by wearing it? 

Then there's the common belief that girls who wear makeup are insecure. While this is sometimes true, {Even I still have a hard time going completely bare-faced} it's kind of  narrow-minded to just assume it, in my opinion.

Makeup is not some "new" thing that was just invented in the 20th century. No, it's been around since the days of the Stone Age and Cleopatra. Women have been using some form of makeup almost since the beginning, and it had a lot of different uses then, as it does now.

Unfortunately in the last couple of years especially, I've seen various internet articles/ videos/ and the like with headlines reading "trends guys hate," among other unflattering titles. But here's a novel idea. 

What if women don't wear makeup for guys?

There's a post somewhere on tumblr that says something to the effect of "if girls wore makeup for guys, there wouldn't be hundreds of girls on youtube giving tutorials," and I've never seen anything more true on this topic.

There are literally thousands of blog posts and videos on tutorials and reviews and just about anything else you could think of when it comes to beauty. Nobody is going to put effort into making those things if they're not genuinely interested in them.

While I'll admit it's true that I'm working on insecurities, my face routine has nothing to do with them. I wear makeup because I like a perfectly winged eye and pretty shadows and a good red lip. I enjoy testing out new products. If anything, makeup helps me feel more confident. I don't see how that could ever be a bad thing. You just have to find a balance and not get too caught up in the beauty industry and begin to equate your identity with makeup. 

It's not fair to put girls in a box and say they all do this for that reason. Some of us wear lots of makeup on the daily while some tend to stay more understated, and some girls even prefer to wear none at all. 

All of that is okay, because each one chose it all on her own, for her.

Ladies celebrating ladies

Yesterday was International Women's Day, so obviously I had to take the time to celebrate all the rad ladies out there.

We are beautiful and we are more than the society that tells us we are not. We are more than the system that says we can't achieve all the things that men can.

There is a Leslie Knope and a Brooke Davis and a Lorelai Gilmore within each of us. Find it. Don't lose it.

I am constantly inspired by so many women who are the true definition of beautiful:

Brave.

Ambitious. 

Kind. 

Honest. 

"We are at our best when we cheer each other on and build each other up." -Taylor Swift.

We are beautiful. Go out there and kill it.

P.S. While finding a photo of Aubrey Plaza I became aware of the fact that we're birthday twins. I just really needed to let you know that. #soulsisters

Why feminism isn't a dirty word

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A few weeks ago, Emma Watson made a game-changing speech at a UN conference. Chances are you've heard about it- it's caused immense praise and backlash alike. As a UN Women Goodwill ambassador, Emma has helped begin a campaign called HeForShe that aims to be a solidarity movement for gender equality. The one thing she said that stuck out the most to me is this:

"The more I spoke about feminism, the more I realized that fighting for women's rights has become synonymous with man-hating. If there is one thing I know for certain, it's that this has to stop."

Growing up, my parents instilled in me the belief that I could be anything I wanted to be. Some of my "dream grown-up jobs" included veterinarian, teacher, singer, and runway model. My model dreams were soon crushed, but only because I realized you had to actually be tall to walk the runway. I had no reason to believe I couldn't do any of the other things. As I stared getting older, however, I began to see that not everyone thought this way, and I didn't understand why. But I knew it wasn't fair.

I think there are a lot of misconceptions about what it means to be a feminist. If I had a dollar for every time I've read about or heard a woman dismissing feminism because "they don't hate men," it'd probably get me a lot of Starbucks. But listen. I love men. Famous ones, ones you see at the store and temporarily fall in love with, Southern ones, athletic ones, shy ones, loud ones... you name it. But I'm still a feminist. I would like to have a family one day. I'm still a feminist.

See, I can dream of having a family and also dream about excelling in a career I love, with the same respect as men. I can do both things. I can be independent and still have a man standing beside me. It's possible; just look at Beyonce and Jay-Z. Feminism doesn't have to be this "either or" thing, and I feel like a lot of people don't realize that. There's still a belief that being a feminist means you think women are better and all men are evil, and that's not it at all.

As Emma so eloquently points out, if you believe in the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes, then by definition, you are a feminist. By this definition, every single educated person ever should be a feminist, but unfortunately it's not this way. Why? Why are people so scared? Why, after Emma Watson's speech hit social media, was she threatened with personal photos being hacked? Why are nearly one in six women victims of sexual assault? Why are so many of those women blamed? 

These questions, along with so many more, are why I believe feminism is so important. It's not a dirty word either, and I wish every person in the world could know that. Simply put, feminism is equality.